I've always thought of myself as the nice guy. When I think of relationship, I think of a potential lifelong friendship, commitment, and intimacy. Each of those have a right approach and a wrong approach.

With that lens, I used to see bad boys as many of the guys I knew in the military - me having been one a few times - in that there was only one goal when with a woman. Many of the bad boys pretended to a good guy when it fit the script. All the married men I knew, well most married men, were nice guys, but don't Fu** with them, either.

When I transitioned to wanting a lifelong relationship, I became more of what I thought was a nice guy, wanting to get to know her as a person first, knowing that sex can mess things up with people who are looking to have a family - because sex can blur attraction and workability. We have even seen articles written by psychologists about this, too. I seen a million times that women try to keep a man after they have had sex when she was looking for someone to have a family with and the bad boy was like "I'm not done going on week long outdoor trips once a month" or "I'm not done with combat tours yet". So, I seen friendship as the anchor of relationship or the foundation for marriage. Sex is something men love and think that sex is the glue to marriage, but it's actually workability and friendship - especially when she is pregnant. And abstinence proves that man can pull commitment because sex is not the "glue" or "anchor" that we once had as the only reason to approach women.

But, after reading this I would fall under the bad guy definition more. And having military police, psychology, business, and mental health field experience, nice guys would all be underdeveloped.

I would love to get your feedback, Isvari, on where I stand, seeing as my goals of interacting with women have changed and I see a distinct difference from men I served with and how I used to be, to now. I might not fall under either in your experience. I am interested more so, because I'm talking with a woman is who is half Indian and half Bahraini with both of us having a long-term, lifelong dream, and seeing if the other is it.